Alopecia, How to Live With it

Ben Steenstra
14 Apr 2019 | 4 mins read

Alopecia is a problem where women lose their hair. There is no immediate cure, but coaching can help to get on with your life. I have a beautiful story of how a woman with Alopecia was helped in this matter and want to share it with you.

Years ago a very beautiful but little fragile young lady worked within my company. Dark black shiny long hair always more than smart and stylishly dressed. If she had been 6 centimeters longer, she could certainly have become the cover model in the Vogue.

Alopecia - Bald Woman

One day she reported sick. Stomach complaints and it would pass again. Until the symptoms persisted and she confessed that it wasn't her stomach at all. Alopecia was detected. She quickly lost whole pieces of hair and bald spots were a few square centimeters here and there. She could still hide it at that moment, but 2 weeks later her scalp was visible from meters away.

She no longer dared to take to the streets and customer contact or even contact with colleagues was way too much for her. She felt like a monster, and not long afterwards there was no other option but to shave off the few hairs that were left.

Alopecia | Relationship problems

Unfortunately, this also brought complications at home. Her fashionable and beauty passionated friend could no longer be sexually aroused if she lay beside him. The question was whether they could please buy a wig together as her own hair used to look. She would be able to use in the evening so that passion could return to the bedroom. The poor girl went through hell emotionally.

We had contact after 6 weeks of sickness insurance. She said that she would certainly not be able to work for months, and the psychologists and doctors had advised her not to do anything else. Because I also had a very good contact with her personally, I implored her before she decided to do so, first to enter into a dialogue with me. I will not deny that I have exerted much manipulative and psychological pressure to get her to the office the next day after much resistance. A pressure that, by the way, is almost completely not allowed by anyone including me and omitted in almost all cases.

Alopecia | Mental coaching can help

What exactly was discussed in the conversation I can not say in this article. That stays between us. I can say that coaching topics such as self-esteem, self-confidence and true intentions were discussed. Against the urgent advice of all those doctors, psychologists and her boyfriend, she appeared at work the next day. Bald and fragile, but with a zest for life in her eyes. 2 days later she dumped her friend with whom she had been together for 7 years and then life re-started for her.

The following Monday she came with totally new clothes in a new style. She had spent the entire weekend giving her wardrobe a rigorous update. In cool leather pants with a matching shirt, new makeup and a cool bald head, she walked radiantly through the door at 9 o'clock. Colleagues turned their heads from the beauty and energy that passed. What a beautiful but different woman!

Alopecia | Miracles can happen

She has not been sick for a day after that, canceled all appointments with psychologists and a friend who worked at Vogue noticed that a totally new energy had arisen. A new woman and friend. Strong, powerful and especially herself! 8 weeks later she was on the cover of Vogue. Totally bold and with 4 pages of photo reporting, including in-depth articles about the subject that a woman is much more than long, short or no hair at all.

Finally: 2 years later the unimaginable happened. Nobody knows how Alopecia originates and nobody knows how to cure it. What I start to believe after this experience is that if you feel good about yourself, appearance doesn't matter at all and you live and give a happy life. Miracles can happen, including the new friend she now has that makes her happier than ever.

Article rating: 9.0 (1 reviews)
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