How to overcome self doubt
“Can you teach me how to believe in myself more? I’m so sick and tired of trying and failing….”
This is one of the questions my clients are asking me a lot lately.
Self-doubt is a silent killer that puts our ambition, motivation, dreams and life on hold.
If you’re struggling with self-doubt, it’s very likely you are focusing on mistakes you’ve made in the past or the negative feedback you’ve gotten in early years.
And everything you do, think and feel goes through that filter of self-doubt. Hence, you are setting yourself to fail before you even started.
How can you take massive action if in the back of your head you know you are going to fail?
Believing in yourself, in your abilities, skills and passion is a must in order to create the life you desire. And by ‘life you desire’ I mean getting back into shape, losing weight, stress less, be more mindful and loving and anything else you would like to achieve.
I know it is easier said than done. And yet, it is possible. My amazing associates and I, we coach our clients on getting rid of limiting beliefs. It takes time and practice.
The power of self-beliefs
Learning how to believe in yourself requires building up confidence in your skills, abilities, experiences - as well as falling in love with yourself as you are – the parts of your personality, point of view and experience that make you uniquely YOU.
The most challenging part of this process is realizing that you – and only you – are the driver and creator of your own success. How much easier it is to point fingers at situations, other people or society and blame them for your feelings and emotions?
Believing in yourself is not about continued success. It is about embracing and accepting life as it is. With the ups and downs, with the good and the bad. It is about you realizing that each failure brings new experiences, skill, understanding and inner strength.
Let’s take a closer look at the belief circle and how it affects us.
The beliefs circle
You don’t become what you WANT, you become what you BELIEVE. - Oprah
It starts with our beliefs. The below picture explains the ‘beliefs circle’
It’s a repeating cycle. Our beliefs shape the actions we take, which shape our results we get, which shape our beliefs, which determine our potential…and so on and on.
When we wallow in self-doubt, our belief circle looks like something like this.
Can you see what self-doubt does to you? Every time we fail in something, it diminishes our beliefs, our certainty in success and in our potential.
From there we take only a bit of action (because we believe we are going to fail anyway), get a little bit of results that plummet our beliefs even more. And so on and on.
If this sounds anything like you, it’s not your fault.
Negative emotions like self-doubt, fear or anxiety are deeply connected to the opinions we have of ourselves based on our life experiences. -Tony Robbins
Now let's examine how your beliefs circle can look like after coaching sessions with me, or one of my expert associates.
Here you have it. The proof that everything circles back to your own beliefs.
This means you’re probably already asking yourself the next question.
“How? How can I change my beliefs so I can take new actions and get new results and empower my beliefs?”
Maybe a better question to ask is “WHO can help me to change my beliefs?”
Tony Robbins says: “You must combine the highest standards with the firmest beliefs and the greatest commitment to consistent action. And for that, you need someone who has walked the path of success and who can share with you the secrets of creating and sustaining massive results. You need a mentor who will be with you every step of the way, encouraging you and helping you to find the inner drive that will keep you racing toward your goals no matter what.”
Find a coach, a mentor - who will sit next to you in the passenger seat and help you to drive the car that is your life - to your desired destination. A coach can get you there faster than when you try to do it alone.
We at M-Unity offer this kind of coaching, mentorship, and continuous encouragement and support.
If you rather self-educate first, you can start reading about limiting beliefs
And when you are ready to get in the driver’s seat - we are here for you.
I know YOU CAN! Do you?
Maria Lia DartiguelongueFreelance Life Coach€ 0,49 pm
Desri GoodwinWellbeing coach€ 1,25 pm
Pierre HoltzhausenFull time Life Coach€ 0,55 pm
Liz de WitMindset coaching€ 0,42 pm
Frits van NoortwijkLeadershipscoach€ 1,95 pm
Miranda BruceCoach/Mentor/Guide€ 0,69 pm