You can learn to have self-confidence

Ben Steenstra
27 Mar 2019 | 3 mins read

Sooner or later everyone gets the feeling of not being sure about yourself. Do people or friends like me or my ideas, can I do something or not and so on. Very healthy questions because it would be very awkward if you suddenly step into a Boeing 747 with the idea that you can control the plane. Doubt about yourself is healthy if you do not overdo it. But when does doubting your own abilities becomes a problem and you lose your self-confidence?


Self-confidence can be learned

There is a big difference between self-confidence and self-esteem. This is important to realize if you believe that you do not have self-confidence. Self-confidence and self-esteem can be learned, but first let me tell you the difference between self-esteem and self-confidence.

  • Self confidence: You know for example that you can do the dishes, talk or walk. You unconsciously trust yourself 100% that you can do it. That is self-confidence.

  • Self-esteem: This is about the appreciation for yourself. Do you appreciate how you look, you walk, you talk or how nice you are to people? Can someone like you have value by who you are instead of what you can and cannot do? That is self-esteem.

Self-confidence can also be a pitfall

If you want to climb Mount Everest tomorrow without preparation because you think you can do this, you will die. That is a statistical fact. Self-confidence can turn into recklessness and that should not be what we want.

The opposite is, for example, if we are a mother who hears from her child that she is a bad mother. The extreme situations that this is true are sporadic, but many a mother can start to doubt. Regardless of whether the child is right about the situation, you can also see it as follows:

Example: You walk an average of 500 steps a day throughout your life, you are 30 years old and have therefore taken around 5.5 million steps. But one day you stumble and someone says you really can't walk. You are the worst runner of all time. You are stumbled! Does that one mistake tell you something about how you can walk? Or does that misunderstanding fail at all in the huge number of steps you have already taken? How many times must you stumble before it becomes a reality that you really can’t walk?

Resolving the loss of confidence

By often telling yourself that you can't do anything right, in many cases you ultimately lose self-confidence in the smallest things. This can also happen if your partner tells you this every day. In the long run you can even believe that everyone in the world is better at everything than you. If you think you are losing your self-confidence, the help of a life coach or mental coach is more than advisable. Together you investigate whether it is self-confidence or self-esteem so that you can work on it. But it can also be a reduced resilience that makes you doubt yourself. A coach shows you what you came up with and what is based on facts. At TheONE, the first minute of contact is free so you can first get acquainted. Be curious and call.

Article rating: 10.0 (1 reviews)
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